Why Do I Attract Guys with Low Self-Esteem?

Why You Attract Guys With Low Self-Esteem


If you find yourself constantly attracting guys with low self-esteem, it can be frustrating and confusing. You may be wondering why this keeps happening and what you can do to change it. In this article, we will explore some of the reasons why you may be attracting these types of men and offer some tips for how to break the pattern.

You Have Low Self-Esteem Yourself

People tend to attract others who are on a similar emotional level to themselves. If you have low self-esteem, you may be unconsciously attracting men who also struggle with their own self-worth.

You Have a Caretaker Personality

If you have a caretaker personality, you may find yourself drawn to people who need help or support. This can include men with low self-esteem who are looking for someone to take care of them.

You Have a History of Abusive Relationships

If you have a history of abusive relationships, you may be attracting men with low self-esteem because they are more likely to be abusive. These men may also be more likely to seek out partners who they can control and manipulate.

Tips for Breaking the Pattern

One of the most important things you can do to break the pattern of attracting men with low self-esteem is to work on your own self-esteem. This can involve seeing a therapist, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with positive influences.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is important in any relationship, but especially when you are dealing with someone who has low self-esteem. Be clear about your expectations and what you are willing to tolerate in a relationship.

Be Aware of Red Flags

Pay attention to red flags in a potential partner. If someone seems overly needy or dependent, it may be a sign that they have low self-esteem. Similarly, if someone is constantly putting themselves down, it may be a sign that they struggle with their self-worth.

Take Things Slow

It's important to take things slow when you are starting a new relationship. This will give you time to get to know the other person and determine if they are a good match for you. Rushing into a relationship with someone who has low self-esteem can be a recipe for disaster.

Practice self-love

Practicing self-love is an essential component of building healthy relationships. When you love yourself, you will attract partners who also have a healthy sense of self-worth. This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Focus on compatibility

Instead of focusing on attracting a certain type of man, focus on compatibility. Look for someone who shares your values, interests, and goals. This will increase the likelihood of building a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Surround yourself with positive influences

Surrounding yourself with positive influences can also help you break the pattern of attracting guys with low self-esteem. This can include spending time with supportive friends and family, reading positive books and articles, and listening to uplifting podcasts.

Practice assertiveness

Practicing assertiveness is an important part of setting boundaries in relationships. Be clear about what you want and don't want in a relationship, and communicate your needs in a respectful but assertive manner.


Attracting men with low self-esteem can be frustrating, but it is not uncommon. By working on your own self-esteem, setting boundaries, being aware of red flags, and taking things slow, you can break the pattern and find a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

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